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Blueberry chocolate coconut protein smoothie

Blueberry chocolate smoothies

That’s right. You heard me. Blueberry. Chocolate. Coconut. And to make it all sound healthy, protein. Shake. We really could pretty much just stop now, because you’ve got the ingredients right there, every single one of them.

Hola, dudes. I know it’s been a while since I rapped at ya. You would not believe the backlog of photos I have (might) clogging up my Frankenmac (if I had one). It’s a food graveyard in there. What do you call that? Compost heap? Sure, but these foods don’t decompose. They just sit there looking eternally perfect in their perfect pixels, daring me to write about them.

Welp, blueberry chocolate coconut protein shake, you don’t get to glare are me anymore!


Yeah, Frankenmac. It’s building a computer and running a legit MacOS on it. I hear people do that. If I tell you more, I’d have to kill you. And I don’t want to kill you, at least not until you’ve had a chance to try this smoothie. It might kill you, I don’t know. If you were a dog, it might, what with the chocolate and all.

Do you like protein powder? Totally optional. I have this fancy stuff from when I was testing dairy. It’s brown rice protein, won’t mess with you if you have any dairy issues like whey might. Pricey though. But good. And adding protein makes this seem almost healthy.

Fancy brown rice protein powder

I know. You’re like that lady in Sam’s who I bonded with in the checkout line. (People always bond with me over my frozen blueberry purchases. Seriously. It’s the magic berry.) She adds greeeeeeens to her blueberry smoothies.

Chocolate almond milk + protein powder


You know what I add instead of greens? COCONUT OIL. TOTALLY THE SAME.

solid coconut oil


Mega size coconut oil!

It’s imperfect, though, like so many wonderful things are. You have to melt it first. Solid at room temp and all. But then the pouring in is fun. It’ll never blend in super perfectly. I mean, sure, it mixes pretty well when poured, but it’s still never going to be perfect. You’ll see what I mean. Like that sort of foam in the picture of the finished smoothies? I think that has a good deal of the coconut oil in it, on top there. Still yummy.

Pouring in the melted coconut oil

Yeah, sure, greens make it healthy. I guess that’s okay. I just don’t have fresh spinach or kale around much, for sure not much in winter, and if it was here, I’d be chomping that shit fresh, you know?

Blueberry chocolate smoothie in whir mode

So you know, it’s okay to be blue instead of green.

Pouring smoothies into cups

Welcome back to me.

Blueberry chocolate coconut protein smoothie

According to my Flavor Bible, the spice coriander complements the flavor of blueberries. I usually add a pinch of ground coriander to these smoothies when I have it around.

Yield: 2 large smoothies
Special equipment: Blender

    20 ounces chocolate almond milk
    1 scoop chocolate protein powder
    1 pinch of ground coriander (optional)
    2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
    2 cups frozen blueberries

Microwave the blueberries for 45 seconds. This will leave them very cold, yet not so frozen that your blender, if it’s a cheapo like mine, will have a hard time with them.

Pour chocolate almond milk into blender. Add scoop of protein powder and optional pinch of coriander. Blend.

Pour in melted coconut oil and blend.

Pour in partially defrosted blueberries and blend until smooth.

Pour into glasses and drink. May cover and refrigerate, but drink same day. Stir before drinking if it thickens in the fridge.

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