Some of you have been expressing…concern…as to what happened with the whole big levain/sourdough plot. I’ll tell you what happened. A winter storm happened. Unripe levain happened. Flat bread happened. And a possibly unconnected but mysteriously coincidental horrible sinus flareup happened.

By day 4, I had a feeling the levain was ripe and active. Compare the above pic to day 3 and see how much the yeast activity made the levain rise in 12 hours. So I put it back into its normal container and fed it again that evening and planned to bake whole wheat sourdough the next day.

When I checked it in the morning, I frowned. It had been near the north window in the kitchen, and a winter storm had blown in overnight, winds howling from the north. The area where the levain had been sitting was extremely chilly. Worse, the leavain didn’t look active. It wasn’t bubbly or beginning to exude the brownish liquid that it does when active. It had been too cold, there by the window.

f*** it, we’ll do it live!

But like a dumbass I pushed those worries aside. Making sourdough would take a six-hour block of time, and I had scheduled my day specifically to allow for that. I’d make whole wheat sourdough bread come hell or high water, dammit!

Of course, my inflexibility was my downfall. The bread rose sluggishly, my clumsy attempts at brotform substitutes seemed inferior, and the two loaves baked into delicious-smelling, heavy discs of whole wheat sourdough.

With trepidation, I gingerly sliced a sliver of bread from one end once it had cooled. The taste? Wonderful. It was mellow and not outrageously sour; just a hint, the barest hint, of tang. So what if it was fairly leaden? I could still eat this stuff.

And eat it I did, and took it to Mom and Dad’s that night to have with tomato soup. Dad liked it and ate a ton (it probably felt like a ton, too) and so did I.

has your face ever tried to explode away from your head?

The next day I woke up, and wanted to sever the left side of my head from my body. Everything hurt: my jaw, my cheek, my ear, around my eyeball, even my left temple. Everything on the left side of my head was in excruciating pain. Ibuprofen didn’t touch it. The pain knocked me entirely out of commission. It was bizarre and horrible and I’d highly recommend it as a torture technique.

I self-diagnosed a flareup of a sinus infection I thought I’d kicked last fall. Only this time, for some reason, every sinus on the left side of my head was affected and pissed. Off. The next day the pain had subsided a bit, and the day after that it was pretty much gone. It hasn’t come back.

I don’t want it to come back. I’m worried that something about the wild yeast in the sourdough affected my sinuses and made them try to kill me. I don’t want my sinuses to kill me. I want to try this sourdough still. But now I’m afraid to.

So for now, the big sourdough plan is on hold. I am keeping the whole wheat levain alive in the fridge, feeding it weekly. Maybe once I forget how my sinuses felt, and how they took up arms and tried to kill me, I might try baking with it again.

whole wheat levain, refrigerator maintenance

Once you’ve developed an active whole wheat levain, you don’t need to feed it twice daily unless you’re baking with it regularly. This starter can be stored in the refrigerator and fed once weekly to keep it alive. Adapted with permission from King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains.

Once a week, remove levain from the refrigerator and discard all but 2 ounces. Add:

4 ounces whole wheat flour
4 ounces cool water

Mix well. Let it sit at room temperature at least a few hours before putting the levain back into the refrigerator.

Two to three days before you plan to bake with the levain, remove it from the refrigerator, keep it at room temperature, and resume twice-daily feedings.

How about a nice tall glass of levain?

Today is Day 3, when we begin feeding the levain twice a day versus the once per day of days 1 and 2. That pic is at 3.5. I’ve put the levain into a tall, clear glass and marked it. In 12 hours we’ll see how much the yeast activity has made it expand.

Notice all those bubbles, made by that friendly wild yeast I’ve attracted. The catnip is this simple flour-and-water combination, at room temperature. The levain is sticky, and stretches when I stir it before discarding/feeding.

Its developed a slightly fruity, tangy smell, yet still with that sweet and fresh smell to it. I tasted a bit of the levain and yes, there was a hint of sour to it. Fingers crossed — it seems to be coming along nicely. Let’s hope I don’t eff it up somehow.

whole wheat levain: Day 3 (and 4 and 5)

Adapted with permission from King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains. For days 3, 4, and 5, we go to twice-a-day feedings. Those wild yeast are hungry buggers! Space feedings as close to 12 hours apart as possible. By the fifth day the levain should be ready to use in a sourdough recipe.

4 ounces (1 to 1⅛ cups) whole wheat flour
4 ounces (½ cup) cool nonchlorinated water

Now we move to twice-a-day feedings. Do this as close to every 12 hours as possible.

Discard all but 4 ounces of the levain. Add the whole wheat flour and water. Mix well, cover, and let sit at room temperature (65° to 75°F) for 24 hours.

This is your brain on SmokeMonster!Locke.

Okay, it’s just the whole wheat levain before stirring it up on Day 2. You know what that liquid is on top? Sourdough breadmakers have a highly technical term for it. They call it hooch, because it’s about 15-20 proof. It’s a result of the fermentation process of the yeast. That would be the wild yeast that I set out this lovely catnip of flour and water to attract. There’s nothing wrong with hooch, so go ahead and mix it back in.

You can tell from the hooch that something’s going on now, but there isn’t a lot of bubbling or expansion going on yet. The levain has a comforting, sweet and fresh flour smell. No tang or fruitiness to it yet. By day 3 it’s supposed to gain a bit of a fresh fruit smell.

I’m going to begin posting pics of the levain’s bubbliness, too, since just seeing it after sitting for 24h doesn’t tell the whole story.

In 3 days (Day 5) this should be ready to bake with.

whole wheat levain: Day 2

Adapted with permission from King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains. Day 2 is simple. Just discard half the levain, and mix in the following.

4 ounces (1 to 1⅛ cups) whole wheat flour
4 ounces (½ cup) cool nonchlorinated water

Mix well, cover, and let sit at room temperature (65° to 75°F) for 24 hours.

Sis told me yesterday she began the starter for Amish friendship bread, which apparently involves mixing flour, sugar, and yeast and letting it sit on the counter. After it develops for several days, you can make sourdough bread from part of the starter, keep the rest of it going, and continue making bread.

I’ve always been a bit meh on the whole sourdough concept. It’s been a rare occasion when I’ve really dug a sourdough bread, but on the times I have, I’ve really, really dug it. The King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking cookbook has a whole chapter devoted to whole grain sourdoughs. I’d avoided it because the whole process seemed so wasteful (I’ll explain why shortly). However, a few months back I bought a different brand of whole wheat flour that was such a coarse grind that I found it incredibly difficult to bake with. I stuck it in the freezer, labeled it “coarse ww flour,” and forgot about it, figuring some use would arise for it sometime.

That time is now. Seems sourdough starters work by capturing wild yeast (yeast floating around in the air) using a mixture called a levain. Whole flour levains are easier to work with than white flour levains because there is more wild yeast present in the flour itself. At the same time, they’re more difficult to work with because the flour will spoil much more quickly at room temperature, which necessitates twice-a-day feedings once the levain is mature (after a couple days). That’s where the wastefulness. I imagine you’d want to be baking with this levain at least a few times a week to make it worthwhile, because you’re throwing away 8 ounces (2 cups) worth of flour every. Single. Day.

What better use for the 4-odd pounds of coarse-grind flour I have sitting in the freezer?

What you see above is Day 1 of my whole wheat levain, immediately after mixing it up. Not very exciting. But I’ll be documenting its development. After 5 days it should be ready to work with.

Here’s how it begins, if you want to play along. We’ll be baking sourdough bread with this within a week.

whole wheat levain: day 1

Reprinted with permission from King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains.

4 ounces (1 to 1⅛ cups) whole wheat flour
4 ounces (½ cup) cool nonchlorinated water

Combine the flour and water in a nonreactive container. Glass, crockery, stainless steel, or food-grade plastic all work fine for this. Cover the container and let the mixture sit at room temperature (65° to 75°F) for 24 hours.

Oh gods. Rotting bananas on the counter again.

I don’t want banana bread. I’ll just put half of it in the freezer and forget it’s there.

Oh! A recipe for banana-chocolate chip muffins. I like chocolate chips, yes I do.

And about 45 minutes later these babies came out of the oven, all gently crisped tops and warm, moist, finely-textured insides. Crap. That sounds really dirty.

Don’t act so smug. I know I’m not the only one who went there.

those moist, finely-textured insides have chocolate chips!

Sis said these muffins were like a spice cake with banana flavor. The brother-in-law only got a bite and wanted more, pestering Sis until she made her own (not this recipe, oddly) the next day. She used mini chips and liked that even better.

Personally, I like the extra depth the cinnamon and nutmeg lend to the hearty whole wheat, rottingly sweet bananas, and chocolate. But if for some wacky, crazy, insane reason you don’t, just omit them from the recipe.

What do you like to do with overripe bananas, anyway?

whole wheat banana chocolate chip muffins

This recipe is adapted from King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking, aka My Favorite Baking Cookbook Ever. Reprinted with permission.

prep: 10 minutes
bake: 23-28 minutes
to table: 45 minutes
servings: 18
oven: 350 degrees

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
1/2 cup packed light or dark brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups (12 ounces) mashed ripe banana (about 3 large bananas)
1/4 cup (3 ounces) honey
2 large eggs
2 cups (8 ounces) whole wheat flour, traditional or white whole wheat
2/3 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line muffin tin(s) with papers, and grease the cups with a nonstick vegetable oil spray, if desired. I didn’t spray them and they came apart from the papers without a problem.

Beat together butter, sugar, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla in a large bowl until smooth. Add banana, honey, and eggs, beating until smooth. Add flour and chocolate chips, and mix well.

Spoon the batter into the muffin cups. The cups will be nearly full — they don’t rise much. The original recipe supposedly makes 12, but I got 18 out of it. Bake until a cake tester inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, 23 to 28 minutes. Remove from the oven, and after a few minutes transfer the muffins to a rack to cool.

You may eat one while they are still hot if you can’t resist.

Don’t you just get bored with bread sometimes? Bla bla sandwich, bla bla toast. Wouldn’t it be so much more fun to stuff egg salad or beans and lettuce or —

Stop the presses! Shut. Down. EVERYTHING. (We’ll intersperse some tortilla-making photos during this break.)

The latest casting news for the upcoming HBO production of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series is OUT!

SOIAF, as the series is affectionately acronymed, is the first book series I’ve deigned to read that isn’t finished yet. Let me tell you a story about that. Several years ago people recommended I begin SOIAF. But I don’t like fantasy, I said. You’ll like this one, they said. But the series isn’t finished yet, I said, I’ll be left hanging for years after finishing the last installment. There is that, they conceded.

Plus, and remember this was years ago, there was worry about the Wheel of Time series. The series was dragging on much longer than originally envisioned, readers complained, observing that it seemed much like Jordan was planning to milk it for the rest of his ilfe. They also worried he’d die before finishing it.

That came true.

But, against my better judgement, I began SOIAF anyway. And was blown away, in spite of some over-the-top mustache twirling in the first book, e.g., “Look! They’re so evil they’d nonchalantly kill a little child!” And no, that’s not a spoiler, because as you discover, a heck of a lot of people get nonchalantly killed in this series…but that first one is groan-worthy.

So I read all four books in this trilogy-turned-septology (originally slated for three books, now the plan is seven, and what the hell, is that even a word?) and we’re now waiting on the fifth.

In the meantime, there’s been talk about some kind of movie or series based on the books. Finally, HBO signed on to do a series, and they’re doing the casting now for A Game of Thrones (the first book, slated to be one season, I believe), and we hear about it in dribs and drabs.

get to the SOIAF’ing point already

The news just came out! Guess who’s playing Ned Stark?

Boromir! AKA Sean Bean. And I doubt he’s going to be plotting to catapult the ring into Mordor this time. Bean’s a great fit for the look of the character; in fact, all of the casting I’ve seen so far looks to be spot-on. It’s kind of scary.

Maybe I should call these Ned-tillas in honor of the day. No. Oh gods, that’s horrible. They’re whole wheat tortillas, and they’re totally easier than they sound. Seriously. It’s stirring. Then rolling-into-balls. Then rolling-out-balls and slapping-into-hot-pan for 2 minutes. In the middle of that there’s some resting. And the actual making of the tortillas is nearly half an hour stove time, kind of like when making risotto, except without all that tiring stirring.

P.S. These are really fresh, flavorful tortillas.

Did you ever think you’d be making your own tortillas? I mean seriously. I want to know. And before the break, here’s two more really neat pics of the whole wheat tortillas.

whole wheat tortillas

This recipe is from the King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking book, aka My Favorite Baking Cookbook Ever. Reprinted with permission.

prep: 45 minutes
to table: 1 hour 15 minutes
servings: 10-12
special equipment: tortilla press (optional; I don’t use one)

2 cups (8 ounces) white whole wheat flour or traditional whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons (1-1/4 ounces) canola oil
2/3 cup (5-3/8 ounces) warm water

Combine the flour and salt in a medium mixing bowl or a food processor and mix together. I used the food processor and it worked great. Add the oil and mix into the flour thoroughly. Mix in the warm water (with the machine running, if you’re using a food processor). Depending on the flour’s moisture content, you may need to use more or less water. You’ll want a dough that’s a bit softer than the ones you make with white flour; the whole wheat will absorb some of the liquid as it sits. Once you’ve mxed the dough, let it sit, covered, for 20 minutes.

Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface, knead it a few times, and pat it into an even disk. Cut the dough (a pastry scraper works well for this) into 10 to 12 pieces, and roll each piece into a ball. Cover the balls and let them rest for 20 minutes.

Heat a heavy, ungreased griddle or skillet over medium-high heat. If you have a tortilla press, use it to flatten each ball. If you’re rolling out the tortillas by hand, take one of the balls and flatten it into a small disk. Using a floured rolling pin on a lightly floured work surface, roll the tortilla into a very thin, flat round about 6 to 8 inches in diameter. Toss a tortilla onto the griddle or skillet and let it heat on one side for about 1 minute, then use a spatula to lift and flip the tortilla to bake it on the other side, about 1 more minute.

While the first tortilla is baking, roll the second one. Transfer the baked tortilla to a plate and toss on the next tortilla. Repeat until all the tortillas are rolled and baked. You may stack the tortillas and cover them with a towel to keep them soft and warm until you use them.